Penyakit gila nak kurus :/

Assalamualaikum & Hello! :)

During my 1 month of attachment at Balai Polis Petaling Jaya, I've gained so much weight until I was 50kg. Pagi makan nasi lemak, tengah hari makan nasi lauk, petang makan mee goreng and teh tarik! Yang lagi best/teruk sume dibiayai oleh abang/kakak polis -______-" This is after part 4 and then part 5.

So part 5 was when I had to struggle with my weight issue again :( This is my 3rd time for me. First is when I was in my secondary school years, form 3 or 4; second in my Asasi years (gosh how ugly was I back then) and now again in part 5 -__________-" Every week I would do kickboxing and swimming and I got my weight under control, I think it was 47 kg. Not 45 kg but still acceptable since I just eat what I wanted.

Then came the nightmare of 4 month holiday! -_____-" I think it started way back when I was having final wand I didn't had my kickboxing and swimming! I zoom broom voom va voom myself  back to 50kg again. After finals I went to Melaka with my family and the picture of myself just zappppp myself to reality. I needed to lose weight!!! Pronto!

Nilah gambar yg paling okay,

kalau yg lg teruk nanti potential bf lari hehe ;p

I went to work again at Marks & Spencer One Utama. I knew this was my opportunity to lose my weight. So I started my diet again, I cut my usual lunch that consisted of nasi berlauk and changed it to a Vico and usually a bread of gardenia. After a while, I lost a considerable amount of weight.

After a month or so, I started taking medication for my jerawatness -_______-" I had to take antibiotic every morning and night. The doctor warned me beforehand to eat on full stomach. Can you guess what I did? I ate my antibiotics on empty stomach :/ It actually started during ramadhan month, after buka puasa I didn't straight away eat my medicine but only after work around 11.30pm.

Tak payah tunggu sebulan, seminggu dh dpt effect :/ Demam, sakit kepala, and most importantly sakit dada. I was sick for a week, I had gastric. Starting from 2nd day onwards I had problem swallowing my food, gosh how painful it was for me that I'd rather not eat. Tapi nanti bertambah sakit la kan -_______-"
1 week of only eating approximately 3 keping roti and 3 mugs of milo dan yang sewaktu dgnya just so that I can eat my medicine.

I guess I get what I wish for -____________-" 'Be careful of what you wish for' is what they always say :/ I lost my weight till I was 45kg in a week. But for the price of being sick with such excruciating chest pain and burning sensation around my esophagus when I'm swallowing food. Not to mention throwing up after hard work of swallowing. I had 5 days of mc, sorry rakan-rakanku di M&S :(

My dilemma:

Makan malam boleh makan ubat

tapi

Makan = Gemuk

Tak makan malam tak boleh makan ubat

tapi

Tak makan = Skinny

At one time I hated eating, I ask myself why do I even bother to eat. Blame my obsession to be skinny. Dalam kepala otak tak habis2:

I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny I want to be skinny I have to be skinny 

Bila otak dah sakit mcm nie mcm mana badan tak sakit -___________-"

psssstttt! Now I'm 46.7 kg and I  want it to be 45kg 

tapi saya takkan tak makan lagi tapi saya akan exercise ;)

I've learnt my lesson the hard way!

Janganlah obsess sgt dgn nk jadi kurus 

Thanks for reading!   :)